To Hell with Christmas Saturday, Dec 26 2009

So today is the day after Christmas…

Yesterday was really nice.  We did the usual Christmasy things and everyone seemed to have a really good time.

But I woke up this morning feeling the way I always feel on the day after Christmas – slightly depressed.

It’s not that the holiday is over.  I’m actually very relieved that it’s over so life can return to normal around here.

It’s more of a feeling of “All that stress for THIS?” and I’m left wondering if it’s really worth it.

The holidays are about giving.  Giving back to everyone for being great friends, loving family, and good acquaintances.

But is there a point that we just start giving because it’s an accepted / expected thing?

Seriously, my parents don’t need a damn thing.  Their house is filled with crap they don’t need already, so why add to the clutter with some other unusable object?

As I was getting ready for bed last night I realized that I wasn’t just depressed, I was angry.

This is the 3rd Christmas that I felt this way.  I really hate Christmas.

I hate the whole thing: the expectation to give, the pressure to get just the right thing, the pressure to cook a feast meal, bake cookies, and hold a big dinner all without getting a hair out of place.

It’s ridiculous!  Christmas ruins the entire month of December with it’s stress, chaos, and traffic and what are we left in return?

We’re left to clean up the wrapping paper, find space for all this new crap, and breathe a big sigh of relief that we don’t have to do this again for a whole year.

But this year I don’t want to.  I can’t seem to find that sigh of relief because it doesn’t really feel like relief to me.  It feels like an endless cycle that will continue for the rest of my life.

So I’m done with Christmas.

Me and Christmas really tried to work it out and deal with our differences, but we’ve decided that after this year, things would be better if we saw other people.

With this decision made, I can look forward to the coming year knowing that December will come again in 12 months, but my life isn’t going to change very much with it.

My husband can do all the Christmasy things with our son and we can still do the fun, non-stressful stuff together.

But other than that, I’m no longer celebrating the damn holiday and I think I’ll be much, much happier for it.

Leave a Response »

 

Finding Love for Myself Tuesday, Jul 1 2008

When you read the title of this post “finding love for myself,” you might assume that I’ve been out searching for a new soul mate, that I’m seeking a loving companion for my life journey.

And you’d be wrong.

I have already found my soul mate. He’s not glamorous, he sometimes snores and often wakes me up muttering expletives as he sleeps, but my husband is definitely my permanent lifelong companion.

I love him and he loves me, and we really try to be good to one another despite the fact that we spend almost every single day together. We both work at home on the internet, and though most days we work less than 10 feet apart, we never seems to get sick of each other (at least not sick enough to go get another job).

But all this is beside the point.

If I wasn’t searching for a new life partner, what the hell am I talking about?!

I’ve been searching for the love within myself, the love for myself. I don’t need someone else to love me, plenty of people already do. I have a glorious number of loving people in my life that fill my heart with joy to think about.

But for a long time I had very little love for myself.

It hurts very much to realize that you may be popular, nice, talented, and fun, but that it doesn’t mean anything because the person that really matters, that you’re really wanting to impress, is absolutely not interested in falling in love with you.

Of course this sounds pretty weird when you try to write it down, but if you suffer from this affliction, I’m sure you’ll get my meaning.

For the longest time, I lived under the torment of my own mind. New ideas, risks, and interests were all subject to the impartial judge of my negative voice. Do you hear these thoughts too?

“This will fail.”

“You are so stupid!”

“How could you make this mistake AGAIN?”

“You should never have even tried. This was just a waste of time from the beginning.”

It took a long time, and the experience of having my son, to realized that that negative voice wasn’t real. It was a separate, chattering entity created by my mind at some point of my childhood. It doesn’t matter why it was created or how, but what does matter is that it wasn’t me.

I was able to realize that these thoughts were not mine.

Even after eradicating this negative voice, I still find myself struggling to love myself. To freely and openly love and cherish my body, mind, and abilities without judgment or scorn. It is like searching for a soul mate in a way because each day I learn new and interesting things about myself, each day the love grows just a little big bigger. Each day it’s easier to love myself a little bit more.

Find love for yourself,

Leah Day

Leave a Response »

 

Help Your Dry Skin Naturally Thursday, Mar 13 2008

I used to suffer from really dry skin.  I’m not just talking run of the mill dry either.  My skin was so dry and tight in the winter I would literally feel like pulling it off.  To make matters worse, I would get these rough, raw patches on my face that refused to heal no matter how much lotion I put on them.

During that time I was in college and I didn’t have a lot of money.  I was never into washing my face or bothering to fix myself up nice.  I just used soap on my face and body and didn’t think twice about it.

Eventually I grew out of this line of thinking.  After getting married and settling down, my mother-in-law introduced me to L’Bri Pure n’ Natural.  I admit, I was totally skeptical when I first tried it.  Nothing had worked on my dry skin before, so why would this stuff?

But after one try I was hooked!  It was really amazing how much better my dry skin felt after using the products only one time.  After a month of using L’Bri regularly I found that my skin was not only no longer dry, but it wasn’t as sensitive or rough feeling as it had been before.

Because I liked using the products so much, I started to learn more about them.  It turns out that this product line uses aloe to heal and moisturize the skin.  This is why it was so effective at healing my super dry skin.

When I started looking into the ingredients I was surprised.  Most natural brands are about as natural as Teflon.  L’Bri was different though.  This company doesn’t use water, mineral oil, waxes, synthetic fragrances, dyes, borax, or alcohols.  They try to keep the products pure and healthy so they work well and really help the skin.

Eventually I became a L’Bri consultant and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.  I really enjoy helping people with their skin issues.  I work with my customers on the specific areas they want to focus, like dry skin, and together we find a solution that fits both their budget and helps their skin.

If you’re suffering from dry skin like I was, I really encourage you to get in touch with me. I have a free skin care consultation program that will address any skin issues that you have.  Together we can find a way to help your dry skin naturally!

Click here to learn more about Leah’s online consultation program!

Leave a Response »

 

Harsh Ingredients In Skin Care Monday, Jan 14 2008

This is a movie I’ve just made starring my son James. I am realizing more and more that not many people really understand the amount of chemicals in their skin care products. I think this video really explains my point perfectly.

We really don’t pay enough attention to ingredient labels. They’re intimidating and confusing so most people don’t even bother to read them. Also it’s hard to know what to be looking for when you do glance at that fine script that takes up half the back of a bottle.

Here’s a run down of ingredients to avoid:

• Mineral Oil – Sits on the surface of the skin because it cannot penetrate the waterproof protection our skin has.
• Waxes – Look for names like Paraffin, Carnauba Wax, Calendula Wax – These heavy ingredients clog pores faster than dog hair in your shower drain.
• Lanolin and Petroleum based ingredients – Again, clogged pores and an inability to penetrate. Has a reminiscent feeling of slathering butter on bread. Gross!
• Borax or Detergents – You know that nice sudsy feeling you get when you use a cleanser? That’s not a good thing. Those sudsing bubbles are actually stripping your skin of its waterproof protection. Knowing that most three step systems put drying alcohols in the toners and mineral oil in the moisturizer, it’s no wonder your skin is screaming “help me!” after it’s been stripped, dried, and slathered.
• Acetone – I mentioned this one in the video. This is a fuel additive and solvent for things like superglue and black permanent magic marker. In significant amounts this chemical can kill you. Watch out for it.
• Drying alcohols – Isoprophyll and Ethyl Alcohols specifically will dry you out and strip your skin of natural oils. If you have an oil complexion, I know you’re thinking this is a good thing, but it’s not. By stripping your skin of oils, your oil glands will now go into over production and double the original oil problem you had.
• FD&C Dyes and Colorings – These are food colorings the FDA has said is okay for skin care and cosmetics, but not okay for food. It’s still not a good idea to put these dyes on your skin because they can sink in and get into your body.
• Synthetic perfumes – If your skin care products say “fragrance,” even if it’s the last ingredient, chuck them out. Synthetic fragrances are serious chemicals and not something you want on your skin or even in your house.

Maybe you’re thinking this is a lot of hype, after all I am mentioning another skin care line in the video. Well, try it for yourself. You can order samples and try my natural skin care line, L’Bri Pure n’ Natural for 5-7 days. If you try it I’m sure you’ll see the difference I’m talking about, and I promise – once you try L’Bri, you will never want to put anything else on your skin.

Get samples just shipped to your door for just $5.75 at www.leahday.lbri.com

Leave a Response »

 

Three Steps to Perfect Skin Monday, Dec 24 2007

Let’s face it…we all want perfect skin. We want to walk into a room and know that when people look at us, they aren’t concentrating their gaze at the bulbous pimple on your forehead or the enlarged pores on your nose.  Even worse, you never want to be the person people avoid looking at in fear of staring at said pimple or pore.

There is a degree of self-esteem that comes from looking our best. I know when I leave the house feeling beautiful nothing can stop me. I’m more productive, energetic, and efficient with my time. I just feel great!

So how do I have perfect skin? How do I look my best every single day?

L’Bri Pure n’ Natural

This is my skin care line of natural, aloe based products. They work, unlike most skin care on the market, without damaging my sensitive, dry skin. My skin looks radiant every day because I wash my skin twice a day with L’Bri.

So here’s your three steps to perfect skin. It’s simple, easy, and very affordable.

1. Determine your skin type – Start paying attention to your skin right now. Do you have oily skin that feels greasy by the end of the day, or dry skin that feels tight and stretched? You might also have a combination complexion that tends to be dry everywhere except the forehead and nose, which are both oily. Pay attention to your skin and try to determine what type of skin you have.

2. Try L’Bri samples for your skin type – Once you know your skin type you can try free samples of L’Bri by clicking here. Trying samples of any skin care product is a really good idea. This will let you know if you like the products, if L’Bri works for your skin type, and rule out any allergy or sensitivity you might have.

3. Purchase your L’Bri Skin Care Trio – Once you’ve tried the samples (it comes with a 7 day supply), you should then place an order for the full sized bottles of the Trio.  By using the specially formulated cleanser, freshener, and moisturizer for your skin type, your skin will heal, hydrate, and begin to look perfect.

I get a lot of people that wait to place an order until they’ve used up their old products. This is really silly. We feel like we’re wasting the products or our money by not using them up all the way. In reality, all you’re wasting is your time and your potential for beautiful skin. Once you find something that works and makes your skin feel and look great, don’t wait! You deserve to have beautiful, perfect skin!

Our natural skin care Trio retails for $48.  This is a bargain considering that this set will last you for a minimum of three months.  All L’Bri products are very concentrated, do not contain water, oils, waxes, drying alcohols, Sodium Laurel Sulfate, or detergents. You can learn more about each skin care Trio by clicking here.

So there you go! Three steps to perfect skin! Feel beautiful with the stunning effects of L’Bri Pure n’ Natural!

One Response »

 

The End of Breastfeeding Wednesday, Dec 19 2007

I’m a little disgusted by how little information there is on the internet about breastfeeding.

Oh, yeah, there’s plenty about how great breastfeeding is, tips, tricks, and stats on how horrible of a mother you are if you don’t do it. Yep, our kids are going to be delinquents cause we’re not dedicated to art of breastfeeding for life. Give me a break!

I could find hardly anything on the internet about stopping breastfeeding. This is a pretty important topic because so many things have to happen for the end of breastfeeding to be a smooth transition. I’ve taken notes on my own experience so I can share the information with other mothers.

Before we begin let’s get a couple things straight:

1. You are a terrific person and a wonderful mother. Stopping breastfeeding does not make you bad, awful, neglectful, or abusive to your child.

2. You’ve already done plenty for your kid for breastfeeding him or her as long as you have.

3. It is doubtful that your child will throw “You didn’t breastfeed me long enough!” back in your face when he or she is a teenager. It’s probably the only thing they won’t resent you for later. Ha!

Okay, now that that’s done, let’s get on with THE END OF BREASTFEEDING!

Start by eliminating a feed a day. I started with the after lunch snack, then lunch, then dinner, night snack, then breakfast. Give your child a bottle or sippy cup with whatever breastmilk alternative you feel comfortable with. I used watered down goats milk in a NUK sippy cup. My son was almost 10 month old so I didn’t think formula was necessary or desirable.

When you sit down to both nurse continue to do so in your normal place. This will help your baby feel comfortable and secure. Do not give your child a sippy cup alternative in your typical nursing place or position. This is confusing and will result in crying, frantic rooting, and you feeling like a heel (or giving in).

I found that sitting down with my son facing out (his back to my stomach) worked really well. He never nursed in this position (how could he?) so there was no confusion. The added distraction of a book on my knees helped keep him entertained while he drank his milk.

Also, it might be helpful to have someone other than you feed the baby in the morning. This was the hardest one for my son to take because he was used to snuggling into bed with me for breakfast and a cuddle. My husband doesn’t smell like milk so James wasn’t confused by a cuddle and a sippy cup from him.

Feel your breasts as you eliminate feedings. If they feel very full, leaky, or hard then you might need to pump or express some milk. Don’t pump so much you trigger let down. This will keep your milk supply going, which isn’t what you want. Just make sure you are comfortable and you don’t leave gallons of mik in your breasts.

One thing I started doing was a breast massage. I would get hard lumps in my breasts where the milk was in the ducts. I would gently massage the lumps in the shower until they softened up and dissipated. I did this in the shower because my breast would often leak while I was doing it.

Generally my breasts were sore and tender for about three weeks. My son transitioned very fast and now shows no confusion or disappointment about being handed a cup rather than a breast. I have increased the amount of mama time and book reading so he doesn’t feel too cut off from me.

He is a little more of a mama’s boy now and sometimes I’m the only one that can soothe a hurt or put him to sleep. I doubt this has anything to do with ending breastfeeding, but more to do with just general mom/baby bonding.

Honestly, our end to breastfeeding was much less traumatic than I was led to believe it would be. It was remarkable how little James seems to care that he is now getting milk from some other source. His poo smells a little stronger, but other than that I can see no difference in his health or attitude.

If you have any questions, just post them to me.

Happy Freedom!

Leah Day

3 Responses »

 

Look and Feel Beautiful Wednesday, Dec 19 2007

What would you do to be beautiful?  What is beauty?  If I’m beautiful, will that be the only reason someone will want to be with me? If I feel and believe that I’m beautiful will that make me stuck up or selfish?

I struggled with beauty all my life.  I never felt pretty, and the few times I did, I didn’t trust it.  I felt that if I was beautiful, and took care of my skin and my clothes, and dressed nice then people would want to be around me only because of that.  They wouldn’t see that I was smart, or funny, or skilled.  They would just see a cute blond girl with pretty clothes.

Gradually I grew up and out of the baggy jeans and dyed hair of my youth.  When I first met my future husband, he honestly thought I was severely burned or had some weird skin condition because I never wore anything except jeans and long sleeved shirts – even in the summertime.

Josh helped me grow out of the ‘grannywear’ clothes I used to wear and accept the fact that yes, I was beautiful, yes, I was desirable, and yes, it’s okay to look that way.  It’s a wonderful feeling now to walk out of the house feeling and knowing I look great.

My mother in law was a big help in my beauty transformation.  She introduced me to a line of natural skin care products that have totally changed my skin.  Before I began using L’Bri, my skin was dry and chalky looking.  It looked okay, and I would get nice complements about good my skin was, but it felt horrible.  I never washed my face because I was very sensitive to most products and they would typically just dry me out even more.

Then Ellen introduced me to L’Bri Pure n’ Natural.  It was amazing!  With just one wash my face felt so hydrated and smooth.  The products were so gentle, my previous problems with skin sensitivity never came up.

After a month of using L’Bri, my skin felt like new.  It had taken that long for my skin to heal and renew itself.  That winter was the first year I didn’t break out with rough, dry patches all over my face.  It was so nice to have skin that looked beautiful and felt beautiful too.

I guess that’s what my problem was the whole time growing up.  I never really felt beautiful on the inside, so when I looked pretty on the outside it didn’t seem to work.  Now my life is balanced with love and beauty on both the inside and out.  I can honestly say I love myself and feel beautiful, even if I haven’t brushed my hair for a week!  Try to find and believe in your own beauty.  There is always something to love about yourself!

Leave a Response »

 

Family Dynamics Sunday, Dec 9 2007

How long does it take to make friends with your siblings?

How long does it take for the old grudges and immature behavior to wear off?

When will I be able to go home and not fight with my family?

This weekend was an uggh! weekend.  It was the first time I’d seen my sister in months and we fought like children once again.

I find it amazing that what I am: a wife, mother, and all around responsible person can completely disintegrate the moment I step into my old family home.

It’s not that I want to fight with my family.  Absolutely not. I would love for us to get together like a normal family: eat, watch a movie, hug, and go home.  Instead we get together and drink, then eat, then drink some more, and after hours of boozing it up on the back porch we do something to piss one another off and get into a fight.

I think a lot of this has to do with me.  As a child I was a peacemaker, as most youngest children are.  I tried my best to avoid confrontation.  I even hid in the closet when people raised their voices.

My fear of being yelled at and abused continued until I was about 22, and then I just got angry.  I was mad at myself for being weak and defenseless, angry at my parents for not protecting me, and totally pissed at my sisters for being monstrous bullies while growing up.

It was during this time that I read the book “Enders Game” by Orson Scott Card.  The child in the book is incredibly intelligent and deals with bullies in a very pragmatic way – he fights back and makes sure they’ll never come back for more.

After reading this book I began to see my life in a different way, a logical, pragmatic way.  I began to see that because I was always running from the fight, or doing anything to avoid it, I was destroying my self esteem.  What was important was not getting hurt, and the mental pain of running was far worse than any physical pain from staying and fighting it out.

So I’ve changed.  But my families dynamic hasn’t.  My expected role is still that of a peacemaker, but I cannot and will not fill that role anymore.  When something happens to make me feel threatened, I fight back instead of shrinking away.  It’s taken intense bravery and courage to do this, but every time I feel stronger, more in control, and far better about myself than ever before.

I don’t like to fight.  I hate it in fact.  My sisters are still stuck in their childhood roles and they start fights. I fight back and defend myself.  I guess the leftover “uggh!” feeling is that of sorrow. I feel sorry that my sisters have yet to grow up.  I feel bad that we can’t just be together without pissing each other off. I don’t regret the fight or defending myself, but I do regret having such a dysfunctional family dynamic.

Merry Christmas and all that,

Leah

Leave a Response »

 

I’m Back in Action Monday, Nov 19 2007

It’s been awhile since I posted on this blog, but I’m back in action now and ready to go.

It appears that motherhood is much more difficult than I ever could have imagined.  Having my son James has changed my life completely from what it was just a year ago.

In some ways the change is small.  I get up and go to sleep earlier now that I have this little boy to take care of.  I care less about getting all manner of bodily fluids on me: drool, spit-up, milk, poo, pee, boogers, earwax, and partially eaten food.

I never was a tyrant about cleanliness and I’m still not.  I just get to things when I can, and don’t stress about them when I can’t.

Probably the biggest change in my life has been my mental state.  Before having James I didn’t really understand what it meant to love someone.  Yes, I loved my husband, my family, and friends, but nothing in comparison to this.  There are no words to describe the love I feel for my son.  It’s too big, too beautiful, but so simple and sweet nothing can come close.

For most of my teenage and early adult years I believed firmly that my parents, and more specifically my mother, didn’t love me.  After having James I realized how utterly insane a notion this was.  Mothers love their children.  It’s as simple as that.

My respect for life has changed as well. The immature, childish belief that I will live forever has left me.  I’m honestly bothered by death now, whereas before I regarded it from a rather apathetic state.  I never expected that.  I never knew.

I guess my point to all this is my own realization at my limited knowledge.  We strive to know things, to understand them, but when our field of vision is clouded or obscured, how can we possibly gain any comprehension of what we are looking at?  I look at my life now without the rose colored glasses and I see a different world.

Leave a Response »

 

The Break-up Saturday, Jun 16 2007

Okay, so I watched this movie last week, ‘The Break Up’ with the lovely Jennifer Aniston. I thought I would share my review and opinion of it here.

Now I’m a sucker for chick flicks. I love a good tear-jerking, heart throbbing romance or comedy that leaves me feeling spent yet resolved. I don’t necessarily want to feel all gooey inside, I just want a general feeling when I leave the theater or turn off the TV that I haven’t wasted two hours of my life.

Unfortunately, I can’t say that the two hours spent watching “The Break Up” was time well spent. Firstly, I must disagree with just the general portrayal of the lead male character played by Vince Vaughn. The guy is an asshole from the word ‘go’. Not only would no girl in her right mind go out with this guy, she would have to be insane to even consider crossing the street next to him. He’s obnoxious, rude, overbearing, loud, obviously insensitive. and just a plain, dumb jerk.

And this is where I take offense to this movie. Suddenly our men have become the laughing stock of America. No longer do we uphold their place as the bread winner or hard worker, we just cut them down to shit by portraying them as worthless, lazy oafs that have nothing better to do than drag us poor, working women down.

And here again is another beef I have with this movie. Jennifer Aniston plays a totally normal female. She works, she cooks, she cleans, she dresses up, and even tries to create a lovely twelve lemon centerpiece for the table. Who gives a shit?! Is any of this necessary for survival? Is any of it necessary for even casual day-to-day life? NO! You don’t get points for being ridiculous in my book.

But this movie only shows that the woman is in the right and then man in the wrong. He is wrong to not remember her lemons, he is wrong to want to chill out after having a hard day at work, and he is wrong to take the easier road when a woman is available to pave it for him.

So here’s my point, we women would have a much easier time of it if we just stopped trying. If we asked for help when we needed it, and if we didn’t get that help, we just didn’t do the task. How many of us ask for help, but then slug along to finish the task even though it’s too much? How many of us take it personally that our men do not value housework or center pieces or just clean toilets as much as we do?

We were not born to pave the way. We were not born to be walked over. But we were also not born to be bitches, making every second of another persons life hell just to make ourselves feel better.

The chick is portrayed as the heroine of the relationship in that movie, even though she instigates the fight that brings on the break up, she maliciously attacks the male character, and acts like a slut in order to make him ‘jealous’. Meanwhile the guy just floats through the movie looking dazed and confused. Understandable, as they have only written the male character to have the IQ of a turnip. It just makes me want to throw up.

Yes, I believe that we should all strive for relationships that make us happy and even encourage us to grow. What I do not condone is the blatant acceptance that it is okay for a woman to be a slut because she has “worked so hard” but it is not okay for a man to want a break for five minutes for just the same reason.

Cheers,
Leah

Leave a Response »